It turns out our teachers, Hollywood and whoever we got our Thanksgiving mythology from (Big Turkey?) all made America's origin story far more boring than it actually was for some very disturbing reasons.
Bloody, heroic and seasoned with all kinds of awesome, the entire eight-year period was dripping with fantastic stories and scrappy underdog moments. (Or was it?)
Independence Day affords every American the opportunity to honor their forefathers; those ordinary men who rallied together in a unified stand against tyranny, injustice and the oppressing forces of that mother ship that blew up the White House.
Some assassination attempts have come dangerously close to changing the world forever. We're not saying we'd be living in a land of breakdancing dinosaurs and chocolate flavored rainbows if a few things had gone the other way ... we're just saying we might all be Nazis.
