25 Funny Stories About Office Suck-Ups

‘The worst bit of bum snorkelling I’ve seen’
25 Funny Stories About Office Suck-Ups

Everyone wants to look good in front of their Olympic sport.

After finishing up a task with their coworker at an off-site location, one Redditor was ready to head home at 4:30 p.m. — just 30 minutes earlier than scheduled. But their coworker refused to let that time go to waste, and insisted on calling their manager to ask permission for them to take off early. That decision spectacularly backfired. “You called and bothered me to ask this?” the manager replied to the late-afternoon phone call. “JUST GO HOME.” 

Other Redditors have shared egregious examples of coworkers trying to suck up to their superior, with the cringiest stories including foot massages, free lunches and obnoxious fake laughter.

verygold 4y ago i called my boss by his first name when i started out, and my coworker scolded me after he walked away saying no!! you call him MR. so-and-so. she'd also always go out and buy him his lunch. like he cut your maternity leave short and he underpays you, what's in it for you 749 ... + More replies
aild87 4y ago Edited 4y ago I work with a woman who threw a baby shower for a manager's (not her manager though) wife, thrown in our office. Meanwhile her equally pregnant friend in the office was invited to the party but received no shower of her own or even an acknowledgement from the suck up. Funny thing is everyone hates the manager so nobody really stayed longer than they had to. Also she tries to call us out for not getting gifts for for the manager on national boss's day as if him being paid more to fuck things
lodoslomo 0 4y ago Coworker would talk up the boss during meetings. Mrs. Boss, you're the smartest person I've ever known! I wish I had some of your brains. 12K ... + More replies
RedrosesLover 0 4y ago A colleague tried to feed the manager during lunch saying just one more bite please. Both female but still, was so embarrassed to witness that. 14K ... + More replies
SmallScreamingMan 4y ago Other receptionist at my work is a huge ass kisser. Calls herself head receptionist when she's really just a part timer that doesn't do her job right. Will constantly have meetings with the bosses and take credit for things other people do. Most recent example is when a client brought us donuts and left them at the front desk. I was in a room but heard the convo between the client and her about the donuts being a gift. Then heard her walk to the back and announce to our boss that she (receptionist) ordered them donuts
PinocchioWasFramed . 4y ago Fake laughter at the boss's jokes... laughter that goes on for WAY TOO LONG so that even the boss notices and gets PO'd. 13K ... + More replies
Click_for_noodles 4y ago My boss sent me out to get her boss a birthday card and gift, which was all fine and good as it meant an escape from her for an hour or so. The card was nothing out of the ordinary, but the cake was very fancy and not your typical office birthday cake. I then had to swing by Tiffany's to pick up the bracelet that was the actual gift, just from her to her boss. Expensive gifts to colleagues let alone managers, were not the done thing there (and it wasn't even like it was a
TheLightningCount1 . 4y ago Guy at my job would counter act his shitty performance with ass kissing. It helped him keep his job for a very long time... Until he told someone to fuck off on a recorded call. 1.8K ... + More replies
dailygrind1357 4y ago This fucker at my work was just promoted because he's an ass kisser. Constantly jumps over people to perform a task, but only when the manager is around, that kind of crap. Recently, he wrote on our manager's door (he has a dry erase board for messages)  (Managers name) is the GREATEST. Fucking cringe. I hate this dumbass, and I respect my manager less for falling for it. 5.8K ...
ActualWater1994 ОР . 4y ago At my job there was this guy who kept buying his direct supervisor lunch everyday, one time the supervisor asked him why he kept doing it, he responded with The king's gotta eat everyone in the immediate area cringed super hard at that, including the supervisor, what are your stories? 10K ...
ThadisJones 4y ago My immediate supervisor and I were doing a job offsite at a partner company's lab, like an hour's drive from our company, and we finished our task at like 4:30, and I was like, fuck it, lets end the workday. Не insisted on calling the director and inform him we were done working offsite, and ask him to officially give us permission to go home a half hour early. The director was like, You called and bothered me to ask this? JUST GO HOME, seriously, you two are out in the field because you're supposed to be
bee-jesus 4y ago The worst bit of bum snorkelling I've seen is someone going to their new bosses house to put up their Christmas Tree. 535 ... + More replies
LivingCakeLife 4y ago I used to work with a girl who would always change her voice whenever she would interact with our boss to try and seem sexy. Her voice would literally go up several octaves in tone and she would adopt this valley girl type of inflection. If he wasn't around she talked completely different. 4.6K ... + More replies
NotBadSinger514 . 4y ago The girl my boss hired to help me and I trained started having an affair with the second in command. For the next year I got to watch her, feed him fruit with her mouth while doing almost nothing all day. She would go on 2 hour lunches. Got promoted, a raise and I had to continue to take the load of the work she was initially hired for. 1.5K ...
Thoreau80 . 4y ago Blowing the CEO in the conference room, which has a huge window in it. However, no butt kissing was involved. 1.1K ... + More replies
RespectfulAbsurdity. 4y ago Coming in on a weekend without pay to help the company/boss, and ends up being an ongoing routine. 458 ... + More replies
ToolFanBoy 4y ago Told some coworkers I was friends with that I got in trouble with weed. Female coworker was snooping behind some boxes and called HR. (She was trying to get a manager position.) Fuck you Mary. 1.9K ... + More replies
jofin156 . 4y ago I was in a group interview once where I was one of probably 12-15 people. Group interviews are pure gold for ass kissing. In that interview, we had a guy that tripped over a table and knocked it over because he wanted to be the first one to shake the interviewers' hands. Also a lot of, and if you pick me then I will bring this talent to the company... bullshit. 1.3K ...
PoorCorrelation 4y ago We had a manager that wasn't really qualified for his job and loved it when people called him for help doing their basic job duties. To this day I don't know if a couple of my coworkers were thoroughly incompetent or just sucking up because they couldn't do anything on their own. I'll give you 3 guesses on who avoided the layoffs. 621 ...
drunky_crowette . 4y ago This girl was constantly kissing the ass of a manager everyone hated, to the point she said she guessed she was guilty of larceny that they later found video of the manager committing. 520 ... + More replies
rxforyour7 4y ago I used to have a guy that was on a temporary contract that would wait in the parking lot before I got there. Не would jump out when I did so he could walk in with me. What do you got for me to do today boss? Well man, right now, I got a fuck off attitude going on because I don't wanna be talked to at the ungodly hour of 445AM about ass kissing nonsense as soon as I get out of the car. Guy ended up getting let go for poor performance which explains the
_Rick_0_Shea_ 4y ago Just your typical yes sir, no sir, how high sir as soon as they walk in the room type stuff. I have never been afraid of a boss like that and I was never afraid to say no to over time either. They never bothered to ask me in the end and that was just the way I liked it, if I wanted от I asked them and it was on my  when I actually wanted to do it although I was at the bottom of the list if people wanted it in front of me.
pofpofgive . 4y ago Shovels the boss' car during winter. 131 ... + More replies
JP1426 4y ago Coworker bought our manager at KFC a birthday gift and card when she had only been there about 3~4 months and was the newest employee. His birthday was early February and Immediately after she requested Valentine's Day off and of course she got it despite holiday requests were supposed to go by seniority. 120 ...
Korplem . 4y ago I had a coworker that went to the boss's apartment to massage his feet. 25K ... + More replies

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