30 Wacky Pieces of History That We Wish Someone Would Prune Out of Our Family Trees

Turns out that great-great-great grandpa was a real nut job

Well, we finally got our Ancestry.com results, and were not quite sure how to feel. On one hand, its pretty neat that weve had so many interesting people in our family tree, but on the other, were a little embarrassed that all this insanity is genetically swimming around in us somewhere.

Wed really like to keep these results to ourselves, but the Cracked higher-ups insist that theyre too interesting to not share. Dont poke too much fun at us, okay?

Parachuting Beavers

Whipping Tom

Women's Bathrooms

Frogs As Pregnancy Tests

Cars

Pineapples

Death Row

Zhou Dynasty

The Soviets

Paul Revere

Winston Churchill

Spiral Staircases

The White House

Fidel Castro

Stalin

Thomas Patrick

Meth

Einstein

Football

Ernest Hemingway

Clint Eastwood

Snails

Napoleon

Bathrooms

Louis XIV of

Lady Bird Johnson

I Am the Walrus

Keg Chillin’

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